I’m sitting in what now is one of the most precious rooms of our house. I’m staring at a wall that was once a vision. A wall that was built by my husband and his best friend. The wall I had picked out years ago that I one day hoped would be the wall in our nursery.

You prayed. He answered.

Our last year and a half has been quite a journey with trying to start a family. I was told so many different things that were wrong with me and at one point, a doctor even told me that I needed to stop working out and gain weight to improve our chances of getting pregnant. I was baffled by this, but we chose to have faith despite what the doctor was telling me.

I know God led us to a new doctor who was “confident” we would be able to have children, and even though he gave us a list of routes we could take, Ryan and I had faith. Well, let me rephrase that. Ryan had faith to move mountains that we could try again one more time on our own before seeking more medical help.

You prayed. He answered.

The past year and a half has been full of doubt, fear and wrong thoughts about myself. I can remember many times just crying to Ryan saying there’s just something wrong with me. That it’s my fault we can’t have children. Time and time again, he reminded me that God had a plan. I knew this and I definitely know this now. The time of waiting is just so hard and unpredictable.

By the grace of God, I now have a miracle growing inside of me. A real miracle. I have shed so many tears thinking about all the prayers you have lifted up for us and for the outpouring of your love and support from my last blog post. And I can’t believe it, but when I wrote that last post, I was already pregnant. I had absolutely NO idea. I trusted that God had a reason for impressing upon my heart to be vulnerable and share our story.

A journal entry I wrote this summer has continuously echoed in my head: “Lord, I surrender my desires to you. Your will. Your way. Your timing.”

Surrendering a desire is one of the hardest things we can do because we’re admitting that God’s plans for us are better than our own. One way that we felt we could surrender was by simply sharing our story with others. I can’t say that we fully understand the heartache others have felt on their journey to start a family because everyone’s experience is different, but I do know that our burdens and disappointment became lighter when we opened up about our struggles.

We know and believe that God has a plan for you even if you don’t see it or believe it yourself. Yes, we know the waiting is hard, but the waiting is worth it when you let God be the author of your story.

So what’s going on in the Worthen household? Well…my emotions are a hot mess and I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat, especially at the Amazon Prime commercial where they put the lion mane on the Golden Retriever (yes, we totally bought Runner one for Halloween).

I texted Ryan earlier this week and said I was going to pray that Jesus would turn my mean switch off. You all. Pregnancy hormones are NO joke! Even thinking about writing this had me all weepy eyed. Besides the mood swings, random cravings and sickness (most often while in the car), everything has been going well and we finally found a new doctor who has been great.

Whether it’s a boy or girl, we feel the Lord has already given us names and we can’t wait to share with the world when the time is right! Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts for being alongside us in this journey. Thank you for lifting up so many prayers for us, and thank you for all the times that you reminded us to let go of control and trust God’s plans.

You prayed. He answered.

Photos below by our besties, The Malicotes.