Grace Not Perfection

Besides being a daughter of Christ and the wife to my amazing husband, motherhood has been the most profound yet hardest calling of my life.

I am not perfect; I don’t have it all together and I definitely don’t claim to be one who knows it all. The past two months have stretched me to unimaginable depths in every sense possible: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I have experienced happiness, joy and the most incredible love imaginable. I have also had moments where I felt overwhelmed with stress, anxiety, mom guilt, and complete exhaustion. I pray every single day that I will be a good mom to Willow, but I still question every single decision I make in regard to her.

A few weeks ago I finished a book titled Grace Not Perfection by Emily Ley. A dear friend and sister in Christ bought this book for me several months ago and it wasn’t until after Willow was born that I decided to pick it up and read it.

You know how I talk about God’s perfect timing? This was one those times. Emily talked so much about motherhood and allowing yourself to feel grace.

One of my weaker qualities is that I strive for perfection. I’m not talking the kind of perfection where something is simply done “good” enough. I am talking the kind of perfection that drives my every. single. move. With nearly everything I do, I want it to be better than great. I want to do everything with excellence, where everything fits and everything has a place. Every part of my life strives for perfection.

I went through a period where I put this same expectation on others, and if you’ve followed our journey thus far, you know that was a major part of why Ryan and I struggled so much early on in our marriage. Through growing pains, I realized perfection is an unrealistic expectation that cannot be placed on others. It’s not fair.

But wait a minute…this applies to ME too! This book poured into me the sweet reminder that God’s grace is enough.

After putting Willow to bed at night, I have laid my head down heavily on my pillow and more times than I care to think about, I have reflected on the day and gotten down on myself for decisions I made or for the ways I fell short as a mother, wife and friend.

Grace, friends. Sweet grace.

That’s what our Heavenly Father offers us and I am learning in the midst of my imperfections that I don’t have to place unrealistic expectations on myself.

While I am pretty proud of the fact that as a new mom I shower every day, I’m not always proud that when Ryan comes home from work in the evenings, I’m usually in workout clothes with a spandex waist and no makeup.

Have I gone to workout? No. Have I fit back into my old clothes? Ummm, no. I go for comfort and practicality these days.

Grace.

Each day is a new day and I am learning to allow myself grace in this messy thing called life. I am starting each day journaling my prayers and ask God to go before me in all my decisions. I am praying for wisdom and discernment and asking God to guide my every step. My mind is constantly going a million miles a minute, but it’s helpful to stop and remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect. I just get to be me.

Photo Credit: Jennifer Morgan Photography

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10 Comments

  • Love this so very much!! I always enjoy reading your sweet words & encouragement !! 😘😘 you are one of a kind sweet friend , & HE made you that way!!

  • As a mother and semi-perfectionist this is so relate-able on so many levels. We strive to be pinterest mothers in a not so pinterest world and practically guilt ourselves and everyone around us in the process. It’s taken months for me to find my grace and have never been happier. I love everything about this post and girl keep doing you! You are a fantastic mother and there will not be anyone that can be a better mother to Willow than you. God hand selected you and the power of knowing that is beyond humbling. Yoga pants or designer pants that baby will only care to know your love. Very good read!

  • Thank you for this sweet reminder! It’s easier somehow to extend grace to my peers and family, but it’s much harder to do this in my own home with myself and my husband. His grace is enough – even for me and the hubby. Thanks!

  • I haven’t read this book, but I’m definitely going to check it out! I have a friend who is expecting, and I think she would really enjoy it so thank you for sharing! I know I have a lot to learn about grace over perfection – I can be so hard on myself, I forget to try and see myself the way God sees me. Keep praying and looking towards the Lord for wisdom. The scriptures have so much to teach!

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